Rape Culture; How Many More Women?

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Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person’s will.

UNICEF reported in 2015 that one in four girls in Nigeria had experienced sexual violence before the age of 18.

It is the year 2020, I’m more terrified than ever because it would appear to be a festering wound. I’ve had to take months off everything because of unexplained anxiety.

DISCLAIMER

THIS IS A RAW ANGRY RANT. And I won’t be sorry about it.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told to forgive sexual harassment of different sorts because – quote – ” Have I seen myself? ” and it’s a horrible feeling understanding how terribly wrong that is. And that’s the society we live in. Today is not the day to call out these abusers and enablers, but a day of conversations that we need to have.

I’m angry and hurting, and every single day I see more women like me. Some much worse, and you wonder how many more? what did we do to deserve such a cursed fate? There was Uwa, and most recently, Toyin Salau. Bright young women who are now dead because someone felt entitled enough to their bodies, and took it. Then brutally ended their lives also.

Toyin’s case especially hits me in all the wrong ways because I saw videos of her several times from the black lives protests recently. Now she’s dead! Who is safe?

Some of the most common phrases that are passed around from our childhood – Tap Current, No that means yes. Seemingly harmless horseplay that breeds a society of men that don’t understand consent and boundaries except it’s them in bed with another man. There are cultural practices that society engages in that excuse or otherwise tolerate sexual assault. These practices are counterproductive to eliminating sexual violence from our society, begging the questions about what rape culture really entails and how it presents itself.

A woman can consent to one sexual activity and not another, a woman can withdraw consent at any point in a sexual encounter but most of you men probably ask so you want me to go home with blue balls or I’m almost cumming as you continue.

ARE YOU AN ANIMAL?

Oh, we were right in the middle of it how can she just stop? The same way she decided to start?

Maybe she just needed a little more convincing? Excuse me?

You sef see your ass if you were a man won’t you to by all means? NO! THAT IS HOW TO BE A RAPIST!!!

Why aren’t you wearing a bra? If someone touches your breast now you’ll complain. AH. PLEASE DELIVER ME DO YOU NOT HAVE NIPPLES?

I don’t understand how we sexualize women so much, and then totally moved sexual responsibility to women. Why teach your women to cover up but not your boys that NO at any point means NO? why not teach your boys self-discipline instead of teaching your girls fear?

How do we stay safe when we are abused in our own homes? offices? relationships, even church?

WHAT ARE THE STATISTICS?

In 2013, the Nigeria Police recorded 1,788 cases and 1,827 in 2015, with the numbers still on the rise. Of this number, there have only been 18 convicted rape cases. And we can all agree that these numbers are grossly under-reported.

WHY?

Under the Criminal Code, the Violence Against Persons (Prohibition) Act (VAPPA) of 2015, and the Child Right Act, rapists are sentenced to life imprisonment, attempted rape gets up to 14 years imprisonment, and gang rape, a minimum of 20 years. The Penal code sentences rape perpetrators to up to 14 years and seven years for gross indecency.

VAPPA also states that a 12-year-old found guilty of rape can be sentenced to 14 years imprisonment.

According to the Lagos State Criminal Law, a legally married man cannot rape his wife unless she has proof of violence.

The law has room for justice but like almost everything else in this society, nothing works.

So you have victims getting brutalized even more if they dare speak up. Woe betides you it’s an influential person.

We are raising a society of animalistic men and damaged women.

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